How to Behave - Really?

Okay, I am about to get on my bandwagon. Most people know I'm a staunch Women's Libber. However, I'm taking a stand on this Herman Cain nonsense that might surprise you. I am not a Cain supporter. I agree with Rachel Maddow - that his candidacy cannot be serious, even on his part.
BUT --- what ever happened to just slapping the snot out of someone that makes an unwelcome pass at you? Even if it is your boss, and this doesn't look like he was supervising any of them. Why in the hell would you go to a lawyer because someone tried to stick his hand up your skirt? First of all, why did you put yourself in a position where that was an option? This smells of money. I'm sure these women are professional women - how else do you get that close to a big bucks CEO. Wouldn't you just label the man involved as a pig, and make sure you were not in his reach again?

I'm not defending Cain, I'm sure he is a pig, but the whole thing smells of Nixonish (GOP) dirty tricks. And if that is true, then the source of this mess needs to be identified. What I see in my head are back rooms with researchers sitting at laptops digging through every publicly filed action with the man's name on it. Which one of his opponents was using back room investigations? He is blaming it on the Democrats, and I am sure that is a possibility. But that doesnt make much sense, because I think the Dems would rather run against Cain over the rest of the very poor field of candidates.

The Joy of Being a Grandparent

I was a terrible mother. Really. The results speak for themselves. My oldest son passed away at 25. My youngest son had the hardest adolescence imaginable. He survived it, and is now a real grownup person, a little rough around the edges, but has an excellent handle on who he is and what he wants. He is intelligent, hardworking, and kind.  And I am very proud of the man he has become.


I stayed home with my two boys until they started K and 1st. I did everything thing that Dr. Spock and the other experts said I was suppose to do. They never missed a doctor checkup or a vacination. I made homemade babyfood; and they took their vitamins. I made Halloween costumes on my sewing maching.  My kids went to baby play dates, church, Sunday school, Tuesday school, Cub Scouts, swimming lessons, vacation bible school, community college classes, day camp, educational vacations, community theater, little league, and everything else I could find or imagine. We made homemade Christmas ornaments and gifts for the grandparents. I read to them every night - every night until they were passed old enough to read to themselves. They had at least heard most the classics before they started school. They always scored at the top 5% of all the national testing. They went to school in clean clothes, and with home cooked breakfasts in their tummies. Their homework was done and stacked by the door. No matter how long the battle the night before had lasted.

When I started teaching, I made sure I was home with them when they were sick.  I started working on my Master's and their grandmother took care of them. I took them to college with me sometimes and we went on great vacations. By the time they were in High school, they had been to the bullfights on Easter in Juarez, a Dallas Cowboys game, Ringling Brothers Circus, Sea World, and every historic site in NM and TX. They had been deep sea fishing, to football camp, to rodeos, the State Fair, and Disneyland.  They had attended the theatre in El Paso, Cats, Camelot, Fiddler, and all the community concerts and local community theatre plays in Carlsbad. They had been to museum exihibitions in serveral cities, the Ft. Worth Zoo, the Aquarium and Zoo in ABQ, the Natural History Museums, Art Museums, and just about anything else we could find.
What did I do wrong? Lots. I gave them too much, and did too much for them. I over parented. I agonized over all the details. I smothered. I wanted perfection. I didn't get it.

Now, grandkids are a whole different story. The pressure is off. I can entertain without guilt. I can buy what I want or not. I can feed her junk food. I can dress her for school in 2 different socks without having an anxiety attack. Lots of things that I thought really mattered with my kids, are not really all that important. Now, I can see that she will be what she will be, and both of her parents love her very much. She is happy sometimes and unhappy sometimes, but now I understand that life cannot be perfect. And she might not be perfect. But I can enjoy being with her. And pretty soon, we can do some of those things I did with my kids, but without all the stress. I can give her some of the same advantages, and not worry about the results. I look forward to it - a lot. And I look forward to the second grandkid too. He will be here around Dec. 30th and I intend to spoil the heck out of him too.

Lavern and Voncile

These two women planted seeds,
And watered their garden,
So we could blossom and grow.
They gave little girls an amazing gift,
A gift of time, and being so young
We didn’t know the cost.
We only knew that they were there,
With hugs, laughter, and words of wisdom
With Elmer’s glue and glitter.
They shared their life experience,
And love, and homemade cookies
They patched up our fights,
And dried our tears, with Kleenex,
Sympathy and good advice.
They were dependably there
Throughout our forming years,
For Box Suppers, Candy Sales,
Car washes, and Style shows;
For pecan pies and Campfire Camp.
And as we grew, they guided.
They were there to teach us
About Service, Kindness, Duty,
And the importance of Friendship
We learned Pride and Humility
And how to walk with heads held high.
They watch over our childhood and
Endured our adolescence, and
Then ushered us into adulthood.
They taught us to reach for stars,
But to be there when someone falls,
And to cheer for each other’s success.
They deserve a large part of the credit
For the women we have become,
Nurses, bankers, teachers, artists,
Writers, homemakers, and business leaders
And after all these years, still real friends.

Too Early to Be Focused - Occupy Together / Occupy Wall Street

The Occupy Wall Street movement does not need to be focused yet. Right now they need to organize and energize. They need to get across the idea that people are sick of the way Wall Street and our Government is circle jerking each other. As soon as they come up with a list of specific demands, someone, the SSDD Dems, or, heaven forbid, the Tea baggers will try and co-opt their energy and their agenda. They will be pigeon-holed, minimalized, and forgotten – just like the One World protestors in 1999. If they keep the Occupy Together movement going, they will be able to force the media (or the media not controlled by Murdoch) to either jump out of the way or jump on board. Some of their best ideas are: getting rid of corporate money in politics, prosecuting the bankers responsible for the Bank Debacle and the Mortgage Meltdown, student loan forgiveness, infrastructure jobs, supporting universal health care, forcing true fair world trade, and getting the military the hell out of the Middle East. I voted for Obama on the promise that he would get the troops out of the Middle East. I don’t care if he is black, white, or green. Right now, I am not happy with his compromising attitude. However, I don’t see anyone in the potential GOP candidates that could do any better. And neither do the people in Liberty Park. We need better answers. Better answers will not come from the same old talking heads. This has been the best thing I have seen on the news in years. I had lost all hope of things ever changing. Now maybe there is a flicker of a light at the end of the tunnel.

Why Public Education is in Peril

Not long after I retired, I was packing away and throwing out education books I had collected over the 25 years. I came across a tattered paperback copy of Teaching as a Subversive Activity, and was struck by how deeply my teaching had been affected by this book: Early in my career, I had vigorously attempted to adhere to these principles. At my very best, I tried to teach students to question everything they were told – even the things I told them. The public education system is not friendly to this kind of teaching. And by the end of my career, I still had the attitude and tried to pass it on to my students. But today public education will beat the inquiry out of you.

According to Postman and Weingartner, students should be encouraged to ask questions meaningful to them, and ones that do not necessarily have easy answers; teachers should be encouraged to avoid giving answers whenever possible, and to avoid giving direct answers in favor of asking more questions.

The method of teaching students to ask questions is motivated by the authors’ understanding that learners need to center their attention on the process of inquiry itself, not merely on the end products, or facts. They list certain characteristics that they think are common to all good learners (Postman and Weingartner, 31–33), saying that all good learners have:
• Self-confidence in their learning ability
• Pleasure in problem solving
• A keen sense of relevance
• Reliance on their own judgment over other people's or society's
• No fear of being wrong
• No haste in answering
• Flexibility in point of view
• Respect for facts, and the ability to distinguish between fact and opinion
• No need for final answers to all questions, and comfort in not knowing an answer to difficult questions rather than settling for a simplistic answer

In attempting to imbue students with this approach to their education, a teacher who adheres to the inquiry method must act in ways that are startlingly opposed to traditional teaching styles.

Postman and Weingartner suggest that inquiry teachers have the following characteristics (pp. 34–37):
• They avoid telling students what they "ought to know".
• They talk to students mostly by questioning, and especially by asking questions that are divergent.
• They do not accept short, simple answers to questions.
• They encourage students to interact directly with one another, and avoid judging what is said in student interactions.
• They do not summarize students' discussion.
• They do not plan the exact direction of their lessons in advance, and allow it to develop in response to students' interests.
• Their lessons pose problems to students.
• They gauge their success by change in students' inquiry behaviors (with the above characteristics of "good learners" as a goal).

Good teaching can be subversive because, among other things, it challenges students to think, to question things as they are, to envision and consider possibilities. To be "subversive", we must encourage students to think outside the box. We need to teach students to desire to be life-long learners. We need to create a thirst for knowledge. The evidence that we have failed in this mission hits us in the face with every new government educational report. We have bright students, but what are we doing that causes the quality of education to continue to degrade? Why is America not at the top of the list of educated, developed nations?

I don’t know when I stopped using inquiry with conscious effort, but I know there were years I didn’t do it as well as Postman and Weingartner would have liked. I could blame my failure on burnout, or on No Child Left Behind, Madeline Hunter and five page lesson plans with stated objectives, checklists, state standards, and benchmarks. I cannot even explain how discouraging it was knowing that Central Office (my bosses) wanted every 8th grade History or Language Arts teacher to be on the same page, on the same day, teaching the exact same enumerated State Standard. I do know that NCLB was why I retired after the minimum 25 years.

The book's authors predicted that much in American education would be changing. In some respects, and it has; but not for the better. I was blessed with a good mind and an excellent public school education. The elementary and secondary teachers I remember best did encourage their students to ask questions. They also taught from the heart and with a love of the curriculum, not from a list of objectives provided by the state or central office. I can’t imagine exactly what some of them would have thought about the inane hoops I was required to jump through after the implementation of NCLB.

We have a wealth of educational technology today. The average 8th grader holding an iPhone has more information at his or her fingertips that all of the previous U.S. Presidents. But if they do not have the ability to sift through the information provided by this technology and recognize what is valid, it doesn’t do them any good. All the technology in the world will not produce an inquiring mind without someone modeling the process of inquiry.

The results of not having a questioning mind are evident in the attitudes and actions of a large majority of adults today. They hear something on TV and immediately take it to be a fact. Our society has become too accepting. We don’t ask why. We don’t ask how. We get in line and do as we are told. We give up our basic rights. We have become sheeple.

Why Education is Failing

This is the gorilla in the room that no one talks about. One of the reasons the quality of K-12 education is failing because of the opportunities for women have expanded since 1972. The demographics of college bound female students that are choosing to major in education have changed greatly since 1972. In 1970, the year I started college, most of my female friends that went to college majored in education, nursing, or business. And that was after the start of the women's liberation movement. When I started elementary school in 1958, even the best and brightest females had basically the same three choices. And many of the brightest females had chosen education. I had a great deal of respect for 98% of my female teachers. Today we find the middle to bottom of female high school graduates chosing eduction as a major. My teachers encouraged me to ask question and think for myself. My son's teachers rewarded conformity. My granddaughter has the same second grade teacher that my son had 21 years ago. And she is teaching in the same format that she used when she was teaching my son. The entire school system since NCLB has focused on rewarding conformity. Conformity is one of the keys to high national test scores. One of the reasons I quit teaching as soon as I made my retirement was that I was disgusted with an administration that wanted every teacher teaching 8th grade history in the district to be on the same page on the same day. The entire system had been altered to provide proof that we were teaching all of the standards and benchmarks. There is no room for creativity. There is no respect for the teaching profession, even from educaional administrators. Many parents have no respect for teachers, because the education system failed them also.

Cookie Cutter Cities

In a time when we are in danger of all towns beginning to look just alike, please save the individuality of our communities. Don't let the urban planners cover the old charm with new shiny, plastic, cookie cutter sameness. For every mindless tourist you might make comfortable, there are hundreds who have the mental awareness to appreciate visual evidence that the old has evolved into the new. Our alleys and backyards are evidence of our history. The rock walls and the ivy represent our beginnings. The front facades of our downtown buildings have changed many times over the years, and will change again in years to come. But true beauty is found with a few cracks, a rock wall, a screen door, and a connection to how we arrived here. The identity of our children is built by a connection to their community. When all communities look just alike, then what connection will be made? How will they develop community pride if everything is the same everywhere? There is nothing wrong with cleaning and painting; there is nothing wrong with updating the facade of some buildings. But please, save what little historic corners and crevasses that are left. These small differences that make our town unique will cling in the memory of our children and the tourists passing through.

To Tweet or Not to Tweet

Whether it is nobler in mind to be an instant smart ass, or to delay the gratification.

I set up a Twitter account a year or so ago, didn't get into it, and let it lay dormant for a while. My kids gave me an iPhone for Mother's Day and it came with the Twitter AP already on it. Didn't use it.
This morning on Morning Joe on msnbc, there was a (I want to say article - what is the term for a spot on TV?) segment (?) about Klout which is an Internet function (?) that rates your clout whether you want it to or not. (disturbing)

And of course, after thinking about it for a while, I picked up the iPad to check. I know, I know, how vain. And, again of course, I have no clout or Klout either. (disturbing) So, I desire clout, but I am not sure why. Maybe I'm bored, or maybe I am insecure, or maybe just a sucker for Internet junk.

So if you like my blog, please follow me on Twitter. I will tweet when I update my blog. I think, maybe.

Skills for Success in School



What can a parent do to help their children succeed in school? There are five skills that must be learned to be a success in their journey through the educational maze. Your child will be in school for at least 12 years and these five skills are needed from first grade all the way to graduation. The first skills we are going to discuss are Organization and Time Management.

To find out which skills your child already has and which might need development, start a conversation about their interests and goals. Ask about their favorite subjects, which classes are their least favorite, and if they’re satisfied with their grades. Check with your child’s teacher or teachers early in the first grading period. Don’t wait until it is too late to make an improvement. Listen for clues. Use your own observations to check what they are telling you. Is the student turning in assignments late or not at all? This may mean they are having trouble organizing, or poor time management.

1. Organization: Whether it's keeping track of materials or remembering to bring a backpack home, all children in every grade need to be organized to succeed. For many students, academic problems are more a result of poor organization than a lack of ability. Here are some tips to help your child get organized:

• Make sure you have provided all the supplies needed, both at home and at school. This includes the supplies that the teacher requested and extras at home where they do their homework.
• Make a checklist of things your child needs to bring to and from school every day.
• Find out how your child keeps track of his homework and how to organize notebooks, then work together to develop a system. Check to see what system the teacher prefers.
• Try to check each day to see how well the items on the list are remembered.
• Track assignments on a monthly calendar. Work backward from the due date of larger assignments and break them into nightly tasks.

2. Time management: Time management can be a hard concept for young students to understand. Even when they have a week to do a project, many won't start until the night before it's due. It takes some experience for a student to figure out how long an assignment or project will take. Learning to organize time takes a little practice and parental guidance. Here are some tips to help your child manage time:

• Designate a time and place for nightly homework and help your child stick to this schedule. The best way to stay organized is to do their homework in the same place every night – not in front of the TV.
• The more organized you are, the less time it takes to get things done. Having to hunt for supplies takes away from work time and discourages the student.
• The secret of getting done is getting started. The sooner they get started after school, the easier it will be to get their work done. It is harder to get them started on homework if they are already playing or watching TV.
• Help your child record how much time is spent on homework each week, so together you can figure out how to divide this time into manageable chunks.
• If you start this early in elementary school, the student will have an easier time transitioning to junior high or high school. On the secondary level, they will have 6 or 7 teachers every year that might each have different expectations.

The other three skills that we will discuss are Prioritization, Concentration and Motivation. These are skills that do not come naturally to elementary school students. They need help from teachers and parents and practice to develop these skills. These are skills that are necessary throughout all their years of education and are also essential in the world of work.

3. Prioritization: Just what is prioritization? It is a big word, but it just means deciding what you need to do first and then how to get it done. Which assignment is most important? Which assignment will take the longest to finish? Which assignment does the teacher want first? Sometimes students simply don't know where to begin. Here are some tips to help them prioritize:

• Ask your child to make a list of all the things they need to do, including all their school, sports, and outside activities. You could do this with the student, so they can see that it is an important skill for adults too.
• Ask them to number or rank each task from 1 to 3, with the tasks ranked number 1 being the ones the child feels are the most important.
• Discuss each task so you understand your child's priorities. If they rank social activities as 1, then you know where their attention is going.
• Show your child how to better prioritize for success in school, suggest rewriting the list until all the 1's are at the top.
• Check in weekly to see how well the list is working and how your child is prioritizing new tasks.

4. Concentration: Whether your child is practicing 2^nd grade spelling words or studying for a trigonometry test, it's important that homework is done in an area with limited distractions and interruptions. These are tips to help your child concentrate on the task at hand:

• Turn off access to e-mail and games when your child works on the computer.
• Declare the cellphone and TV off-limits during homework time.
• It usually works best for the child to have a space of their own that is the designated homework spot with their supplies and materials at hand. 
• Some large projects like science fair projects or art projects may take a different space and materials.
• Depending on the age of the child, they should work for about 15 to 20 minutes and then take a 5 minute break. We all concentrate better when we break our work into manageable time periods.

5. Motivation: When asked, most children say they want to do well in school, yet many still fail to complete the work necessary to succeed. The reason is often motivation. Motivation might be the hardest skill to acquire. Tapping into their interests is a great way to get them eager to do well in school. These tips might help to motivate your child:

• Try to link what they are learning in school to your child's life. If they are learning percentages, at the grocery store ask them to figure out the price of a discounted item.
• Link your child's interests to academics. If your child a music nut, give them books about musicians and show them how music and math are connected.
• Don’t over manage. Be there to help, but as they get older allow them more control and choices. With guidance, let them determine study hours, organizing system, or school project topics. If you start early, you will have less trouble as they get older.
• Encourage your child to share the school experience with you. Regularly ask about what they are learning in school. Have conversations where you are listening to their opinions and allowing them to disagree with you in a respectful way.
• Show your child how to have pride in the little things, encourage new ideas and questions, and celebrate all efforts and successes.

Remember all children are individuals and the parents have to adjust to individual learning styles - just like teacher do. Often students are hesitant to try because of the fear of failing. You can help break this cycle by celebrating your child's successes, no matter how small, and by giving them opportunities to succeed. And there's no better time to start than now.

 

Disability

Disability isn’t always easily observed.

Not the tricycle on the sidewalk missing one wheel,

Or the china doll on the dresser with no eyes.

Disability sometimes means, just barely cracked.

Like the vase on the piano Mother always turned

A certain way, so you wouldn’t see that it was broken

Unless you picked it up and examined closely.

And you couldn’t fill that vase with water;

It wouldn’t hold a bouquet of garden roses,

But was always pretty sitting there

With some dried leaves and cattails,

Or a few nicely arranged silk flowers.

And therefore was, too useful to discard.